Limited Time Offer! Join our Pre-Launch group today for special offers and discounts.

7 signs to observe when visiting your aging parents these holidays

health warning signs Nov 26, 2019

The holidays are a special time to visit with our loved ones and spend some quality time with them. In many cases, it’s one of the few times of the year we get to see and visit our aging parents, whether we live a few miles or thousands of miles away.  Many times our loved ones may tell us they “are fine” on their own, but spending this quality time with them can present a good opportunity to ascertain if our aging loved one is actually doing well or if a change of condition has happened.  

During these upcoming holidays, take some time to pay attention to the following seven signs that might indicate that their physical or cognitive condition may have changed and suggestions on what to do about it:

 

  1. Has your loved one had some weight loss or extreme gain?  Don’t ignore sudden weight gain or loss; both can be a sign of serious medical problems or self neglect. Weight loss can also be an indication of depression, diabetes, or even more intricate medical issues; rapid and unintentional weight gain can indicate cardiovascular issues. These can also be the result of arthritis or mobility problems that make it tough for an older one to prepare meals for themselves; take a look in their refrigerator and pantry, is it well stocked with items that are fresh and not expired? Is there only microwaveable meals in the freezer? Many communities offer Mobile Meal services that can deliver fresh, nutritious meals on a regular basis, and provide conversation and companionship services. You may also consider enlisting friends and neighbors willing to help to bring healthy meals once or twice a week, this will also provide socialization for your loved one.  
  2. Bruises, scratches or skin tears: This can indicate a fall or constant falls, this one is particularly important as our loved ones tend to dismiss or minimize that they have had a fall so not to make you worry. Falls are the number one cause of injury and hospital visits among older adults. Pay attention to your loved ones’ steadiness while walking or rising from a chair. Pay close attention to how well your loved one moves around their home and yard. Are they avoiding using the stairs? Sitting too much? Reluctant to leave home? These can all be signs they are worried about falling. Bruises and skin tears can be a sign that they may have fallen. If falls are a concern, you can do a safety walkthrough of their home, remove throw rugs and floor mats that can be the cause of trip-and-fall. Falls can also be a result of medications not working appropriately. Remind your loved ones to use their assistive devices such as canes or walkers. 
  3. Change in social life: Is your loved one withdrawing from social groups or skipping family events? Have they stopped attending religious services where in the past they have always been actively involved? Isolation can be a serious health risk for older adults. It can contribute to issues such as high blood pressure and obesity; as well as decline in cognitive function.  Symptoms of depression can include excessive sadness, crying, moodiness and problems sleeping; If your aging parent is using “guilt tactics” it may be also be a sign of depression. Reach out to family members / friends and make a socialization schedule, that can include attending religious services and outings. Technology can work in your favor, you can use video calls to check in on your loved one.  
  4. Decline in Personal Appearance: Is your aging loved one wearing the same outfit several days in a row? Perhaps you notice their personal hygiene has declined? Maybe they are struggling to shower on their own? A hug can reveal important changes in hygiene.  Bad body odor and an unkempt appearance are signs a senior needs help caring for themselves. Many times older adults hesitate to go in the shower because they are afraid of a fall. A change in hygiene can also be indicative of mild cognitive impairment if accompanied by other symptoms such as personality changes and mild confusion. When visiting with your aging loved ones, ensure that grab bars, shower mats and shower chairs are installed; you may also contract an outside service that can range from stand by for assistance and safety while showering to hands-on help with personal care.
  5. Home organization and cleanliness: Is their home not the usual tidy home you have seem in year’s past? Are there piles of unopened mail on the counter, stacks of clutter, and expired food are all signs your loved one may be having a hard time keeping up around the house. Scorched cookware is a sign your aging parent may be forgetting they are cooking until something is burning. This can be a serious fire hazard. A quick peak around your senior loved one’s house can be quite revealing. This issue becomes more sensitive if it’s combined with personal care decline and safety issues. If you notice these red flags, its time to have a honest conversation about future solutions. Hard topics such as alternate living solutions or in-home assistance have to be addressed, ask the question, what is the milestone that will determine its time to make changes in their living situation? Start having these conversations casually before you find yourself in crisis mode. 
  6. Car damage: New dents on their cars or scrapes on the garage walls can be signs that your folks’ driving skills are declining. Try to ride with your parents during your stay to see how they are now driving. Drifting across lanes, driving much more slowly than normal, and not turning to look while backing up are signs that it is no longer safe for them to drive. No one looks forward to the driving conversation with a parent. However, there are ways to make it less stressful and more productive, speak to their doctor as to what are the important steps that must be taken to ensure safe driving. Visit the Hartford Center for Mature Excellence to learn more about how to start the conversation at https://www.thehartford.com/resources/mature-market-excellence. 

 

  1. Medications: While you might feel strange looking through your parents’ medicine cabinet, it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with their medications and any potential side effects or drug interactions between them. If you notice expired medication, unopened prescription bottles, or past due refills, your parents may be forgetting or choosing to not take their medicine.  It’s possible that it may have become a little confusing and they may be struggling to remember when to take what; that is not an uncommon occurrence, simple solutions such as picking up medication organizers and pre-filling them can provide a solution to this problem;  CVS pharmacy provides a new service of personalized pre-packaging med packs at no extra cost that can also be a solution. There are several other options to ensure your loved ones take their medications on time, technology such as the Phillips Medication Dispenser can be a helpful tool. 

 

These are only a few of the signs that we can look for, once you identify some of them, it’s important to have the conversation with your loved ones, never make decisions on their behalf without consulting them and having their consent; one of the hardest things to come to terms with is that it’s  their right to accept your help or not; however, the more you inform yourself and provide them options for maximizing their choices and independence, the better they will be open to the help. Remember that sometimes we have to take small steps to ensure success. Wishing you an enjoyable holiday season!

 

 

 

 

Close

Join the Gift of Caring Community

Get support from other caregivers just like you.


We will never misuse your email or share it with others.